GRANDMA NELSON

Grandma Nelson.  The name stands alone.  Always a picture of perfection.  Morally right.  Trustworthy.  Cleanliness is next to Godliness.  Organized.  Prayerful.  Exercise.  Status.  When I think of my Grandma it brings memories of Easter, Christmas, and Thanksgiving.  It brings memories of summer vacations with swimming, taco night and General Hospital.  Grandma passed away on January 14, 2011.  I cannot believe two years have passed since I have seen or heard her.  The night she died I was in her hospital room and I had the chance to see my Aunt Michele comfort her mother like no one else could.  It changes a person seeing them go from this world to the next. 

Journal Entry from 1-15-11
Grandma Nelson was in the hospital recovering from intestine surgery.  She went into the hospital with severe pain in her back and stomach.  Her intestines had a "kink" in them.  She had surgery on Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning @ 12:45 am.  By 5:00 am she was in ICU on a ventilator.  They said her heart stopped three times during surgery and they didn't know if she would make it.  Wednesday she slept all morning and they took the tube out around 3:00.  She was breathing on her own, but was very agitated.  She was anxious and couldn't relax without medication.  Thursday when I went to visit Grandma was awake off and on.  When I said, "Hi Grandma" she said, "Hi Dear."  Grandma always called me Dear.  I figured it was because I was dear to her.  Tom and Dan came to visit her.  She said, "Hi Daniel."  I'm not sure if she really recognized anyone else but she was smiling and I thought she may be recovering a little.  On Friday when my mom got to the hospital they told her Grandma had MRSA which is a infection that is resistant to antibiotics.  She was also very labored in breathing.  As the day went on her blood pressure was low and by evening the doctor wanted to put the tube back in.  I asked if that was life support and he said yes.  I went and got my dad and Uncle Gary to come talk to the doctor. 

Aunt Michele stayed with Grandma from around 8:00 pm till Grandma went to heaven at 11:09.  I have never seen anything like Aunt Michele; she talked, prayed, recited scripture, sang hymns and comforted Grandma as she went through her last hours on earth.  I learned more about the Nelson family in those last hours, more than I had learned in my entire life. 

*She recited the Lord's Prayer many times and talked about how Grandma had taught them the Lord's Prayer and all her Grandkids.  How they held hand and said the prayer before each meal.  She said, "Thank you for teaching us.  We love the prayer and have plaques to remind us."

*"Yeah though I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil."  Mother there's no need to fear because God is with you.  No evil can hurt you.  God is love.  Remember as a child you told me God is love and I'm sure your mom told you that and her mom told her that.  God is love and He loves you Mother.

*"I go to prepare a place for you."  Mother God prepared a place for you.  It will be organized and clean and you will never have to worry about anything being dirty again everything will be perfect.

*Tell Linda I love her and miss her.  Tell her.  You will be able to give her a big hug.  She will be waiting for you.  Give her a hug for me.

*Let's put on the armor of God.  Breastplate of righteousness, Helmet of Salvation, Belt of Truth, Sword which is the Word of God, feet is Gospel of peace, and when you have done everything just STAND.

So much time has passed.  Little did I know that I would see two people enter the kingdom of Heaven in 2011.  That has to change a person.  My heart is so different then before.  I almost do not even recognize the person I am becoming.  I didn't want life to change.  I wanted Grandma to live ten minutes down the street for longer.  I enjoyed going to her, "Five star Hotel" having dinner with her and seeing her.  She had a gentle way about her.  We liked reading the same books and she enjoyed seeing my kids.  She thought Chris looked like Grandpa Nelson and she taught him the tradition of making Beer Bread.  She had a soft spot for Mikaylah and Mikaylah loved Grandma.  I remember at Grandma's memorial service Mikaylah asked Chris to read a note for her.  She said Grandma wasn't ready to leave because she was enjoying her life here.  Now I realize that it doesn't matter if you want to leave this earth, when it's your time you have to go.  When your body tires you have to go.  You have to go to the place that was prepared for you.  I like to think of Grandma standing there in her perfect way ushering Mikaylah into her eternal place.  Death is hard and so final.  Chris said it so perfectly a few months ago, "When you are with someone when they leave/ die, a little bit of yourself goes with them and after that you can never be exactly who you were before."    I have learned that so well this past year, its painful finding the new person you have to become when your life turns upside down.  I pray that as time passes the person I become is as productive, loving, happy, peaceful, strong, and content as the person I was before and even more so.