It's amazing how it happens. A child grows within and the moment that child enters the world you are forever a "Mom". You have a new name and a new role. Something you never again lose. Not like a job that can be taken away. Once a mother always a mother. Even if your child dies at birth or shortly after you are still a mom.
When we think of our mom some of us have thoughts of extreme connection and heartfelt love and others have anger or hurt. Even if anger and hurt are the feelings you have that anger is because we all know that a mom is suppose to love her children, is suppose to protect and care for her children with no regard for herself. Mom's take care of the needs of her children from birth. We feed them either from a bottle or breast but we are the reason they live. Without a mothers care to feed, diaper, and hold, babies would not survive. Mother's spend sleepless nights and when we gaze into the eyes of our baby we can't seem to stop looking. The connection we feel and the overwhelming feelings of love take over our hearts at times. Mother's can literally spend hours watching our babies sleep. A baby changes your life. Babies don't always come at the most opportune times... sometimes your are to young, to old, not married, in the middle of a job change, poor, but none the less you become a mom. Even those who give their babies in adoption are still forever changed, they are forever a mom.
As our children grow we can't wait till they say MOM. We coach them hoping they will say our name before they say anyone else's. We cannot wait to hear the words of our name come from our children. And when they finally say our name we smile and it feels so natural! The older our children get the more we hear our name being called. I think it was somewhere around age 5 my children would call my name every few minutes! There was actually a time I said, I'm going to change my name! But of course I did not!
Despite everything else we do working, cleaning, laundry, cooking, family get togethers, birthdays... we know that being a mother takes precidents. If our child gets sick we are there to make sure they get better, if the school calls we go take care of it, if our child is crying we comfort, if our child needs cloths or supplies we take them. If we realize what we have; we talk to our children, we spend time playing games and watching movies, going to sports events, musicals, and experiencing life together.
As we head into teen years our children do not say our name quite as much... they say it but not always in a nice way!!! They start to not need us as much. It's hard as a mom because we have put our absolute everything into loving and caring for our children. It's during these years we question if we did the right thing when they were little and growing. Its amazing though that no matter what our child says or does in teenage years we love them. It's a neverending, neverstopping love of a mother.
I'm at the point in my Mom journey that I really miss hearing that name, "MOM." At one point I might have heard that name 100 or more times a day, now there are some days I never hear that word. The other day I was sitting on the patio and Chris yelled out the door, "Bye Mom, I love you." My heart was overwhelmed. Hearing my 19 year old say my name makes my heart feel complete, but it also brought a sadness that as my child gets older I will hear that word less and less, because sooner or later he will move out and I won't talk to him everyday! For me it also brought the reminder that I will never again hear my Mikaylah say my name. I have to say I miss hearing her say, "mom!" I grieve for every card, letter, picture, hug that I would get for the next 40 years! I will never have another letter that reads, "Mom I love you, Mikaylah." So I cherish the ones I have!
The natural order is the child losing the Mom. That is not easy either. I love calling my mom... talking to her. I know she is the one who prays for me and who to this day would still give her life for me. I have seen her struggle with losing her mom. I am sure she misses using that name, "MOM." The name mom is reserved for moms or people in our lives who act as a mom. So when our mom is gone from this world we never again use that name.
Moral of this story...
If you have small children, relish that they say your name often. Remember that time passes quick and these days cannot be relived. Time waits for no one and keeps marching on. The next time they call your name, "Mom." Recognize the feeling you have when you hear that name!
If you have teenagers, remember they are not going to be this age forever and that they love you, they are just trying to spread their wings a little. When these years pass, the next step is to their own life, a life that you will be part of but not as much.
If you have adult children, call often and love them for the life they lead even if you don't agree.
If you have a mom love them, call them, write them, say their name often and let them know you appreciate them. When your mom is gone from this world you will not get that opportunity again.
Life is ever so short and loss is evident and will happen to each of us we do not want to look back with regret, we want to look back and say I took every opportunity to let those around me know I love them whether Mom or Child!
TO MY MIKAYLAH:
I THINK SHE KNEW THIS IS HOW I FELT. I DON'T REGRET, BUT I DO WISH I HAD SPENT MORE TIME MAKING SURE SHE KNEW I LOVED HER. AND I SPENT A LOT OF TIME. MAYBE WE WILL ALWAYS WISH WE HAD SPENT MORE TIME TELLING OUR LOVED ONES. EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT GET TO SEE HER GROW INTO WOMANHOOD, I KNOW THAT SHE HAS GROWN INTO A COMPLETE, WHOLE, AND PERFECT SPIRITUAL BEING IN HEAVEN. I LOVE YOU MIKAYLAH!
