This CPS job!

Life issues...  so as a social worker with CPS there is never a truly dull moment.  Sometimes I'm amazed at the things people endure...  And sometimes I'm amazed at how similar my life is to theirs... I just chose a different way to deal with the things that come my way.

 

My day started out with a meeting with a couple who had a visit with their children... a SUPERVISED one hour visit... In a room that has a camera and microphone... I'm sitting at a computer screen listening and watching each and every move they make.  It kind of took me back to those early years when I would take the kids out and if they misbehaved or talked to loud I would be embarrassed and wonder what I should do because everyone had their eyes on me... JUDGING me... seeing what I would do.  Then sometimes I would think OMG someone is going to call CPS on us.  Well now guess what, its me they call... after the visit I sat down with the parents... today we talked about the depression that sets in when there's not enough money, or when they disagree on discipline or other life issues... what did they do when they got depressed???  Turned to drugs... laid in bed and didn't clean the house.  They let the depression take over.  How do you learn to use other coping mechanisms when you've used the same ones for 15 years?  Then I began to think... that could have been me...

My second SUPERVISED visit was with a mom that had not seen her 3 beautiful children in 3 months.  After the visit I sat down with the mom... I asked her about her relationship with the kids dad... She said didn't you read the file?  I said you know I want to hear the story first hand from you, then I want to start right now moving in a different direction... She began to tell me a story of domestic violence and how she doesn't have loving relationships with men anymore because they can't be trusted.  She said I know how to prevent future domestic violence relationships... don't get into relationships...  As she talked she suddenly said you know I think I need to see a counselor and talk about some of these feelings and dig a little deeper then what I have dug in the past.  Then I realized... this is me... this is what I did for the last 10 years... after being in a domestic violence relationship... I put all men in that category of not caring of not loving... I'm so thankful I didn't chose to cover my feelings with drugs and neglect of my children... but that could have been me...

So much of the time we judge others... like our way is always right... Yeah people make wrong choices, but we are just one step away from where they are, by making one wrong decision.  Who among us is not hiding something in our life?  A feeling... A addiction... Unforgiveness... Hatefulness... Meanness... Yeah I have people all around me telling me all the time... I need to change how I think of people... get harder... don't think good of people because most of them are not good... Well I can't do that... I don't want to change... I don't want to get hard... I want to have compassion... I want to be that one person they look back and say... they cared... Yeah I may only see one parent change, but that's okay... One is enough!